


Don't Show me Love

by Shadow15



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-19 03:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow15/pseuds/Shadow15
Summary: Ronald has gone through more adoptions and foster homes than can be counted due to his troubled nature.  His self-destruction is imminent, and Grell can only understand that too which, which is why he chooses Ronald to adopt.But such a thing as too much damage exists, and after all of the abuse and trauma, can Ronald ever learn to trust?  He isn’t sure; is he being deceived?  Or has he finally found someone who can help him stop his pain?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You guys may be familiar with this from my fanfiction account. This is actually a complete rewrite. If anyone has seen the original version, I would love to hear what you think of the new one.

It was a well-established fact between everyone who knew Grell that the red-haired man had always wanted kids, but the same couldn’t be said for his stoic partner.  No; if William had ever changed his mind and said he wanted kids too, the world had gone crazy.  William was a workaholic, and even towards his boyfriend, he was as cold as ice and near unforgiving.  No one who knew the two could ever see the brunet settling down with a bunch of brats running around his home; it was just too…  too…  Too _un_ -William, and it would never happen, not in a million years.

So when life found the unlikely lovers walking into one of the many, _many_ orphanages London had to offer, people had to question what had happened to the real William, and what this imposter’s ulterior motive was.

“Will, I’m so excited!” Grell’s voice was high-pitched, and he made no attempt at quietening down; even he had no idea what had happened last night when the topic of adopting had once again been brought up and completely unexpected, received a hesitant okay in response.  He wasn’t complaining, but he had honestly thought that he was going to be nagging William for kids for the rest of his life.  He squeezed his lover’s hand tight in his as he then added on, “Thank you so much for agreeing!”

William remained silent, and he pulled his hand from Grell’s grip almost instantly; why did the younger always have to forget how much he detested public affection?  He muttered something under his breath as Grell kept rambling on, and it was when they were finally lead to the back of the orphanage and into what must have been the playroom did he finally feel his irritation build; why had he agreed?  Had he just gotten sick of Grell constantly bringing it up?  He was regretting saying yes, wasn’t he?  If he wasn’t yet, he surely was soon as the yelling and squealing got on his nerves quicker than he could remember anything else accomplishing.  This was why he had always said no…

“Which one should we pick, Will?!” The long-haired male was bouncing on the spot as he took in all of the children he had a choice of.  “Will?!”

William pushed his glasses back up his nose.  Icily, he muttered, “ _You_ want the kid; _you_ choose.”

The woman assisting them with the adoption frowned at the man’s attitude, but Grell was unfazed; he simply looked over his frames at her and asked in a sweet manner, “Who would be good for first-time parents, honey?”

“Well, we have two sweet, well-mannered children playing in the corner together,” the woman responded.  She pointed to two girls playing with building blocks.  “Almost all our children are well-behaved and wouldn’t be difficult for new parents, but they would still need patience and understanding; being orphans, a lot of them have had… _troubles_ , in the past.”

Grell sighed.  He knew all too well about how hard life could be, and he could sympathise; he really could.  His eyes flicked through all the children, just wanting to observe them before he tried to make any decisions, and it was then he noticed the lone boy sitting in a dark corner of the room, with his knees pulled up to his chest as he hugged them tightly.  His hair was oddly coloured, blond on the top and black on the bottom, and he smiled faintly; what a cute little boy he was.

The redhead grabbed the woman’s attention as he pointed to the boy.  “What’s his name?”

The woman looked to see where Grell was pointing.  She frowned.  “…That’s Ronald.  However, I would not recommend him for you…”

The long-haired male shook his head; people once said the same about him…  “What’s wrong with him?”

“Our privacy laws state I can’t go into too much detail at this point in time, but he never seems to last long with anyone; he always ends up back here.  They say he’s too much for them.”

For the first time, William showed interest.  “Health problems?”

“Not physically…  _Mentally_.”

In the most stoic, serious tone William had ever heard him use, Grell stated, “He’s been abused.”

“…Yes…  He has…  I cannot tell you anything about it unless you want to take him onboard, but as I said before, I really do not recommend it.  We have plenty of other lovely children you can –“

“- We’ll take him.” Grell looked at his partner and then back to the woman.  “I’m good with that kind of thing.  I can help him.”

“Ronald has been through more foster homes and adoptions than any other child currently or previously in care,” the residential worker explained carefully.  “I really cannot think you are ready to take on such a child after reading your profiles…”

Grell shook his head.  “They used to call me a problem child as well.  I went through homes like I do shoes today.  I was abused as well.  So I understand, even if none of the others did.”

What could she say, really?  She could see nothing was going to change Grell’s mind, but was that a good thing?  Was that what Ronald needed in his life?  Someone who was prepared to shoulder his problems?  She didn’t know what kind of support he had received from any of the ex-fosters or adoptees, but she could hazard a guess at none.

She sighed.  “If you’re serious about this…  You should introduce yourself to him and see how he feels about you.”

Grell didn’t protest.  He followed complacently as he was led over to the corner Ronald was still tucked away in, and when he was close enough, he knelt so he could speak quietly to the boy.  His smile was gentle as the residential worker introduced them all, but he couldn’t help but take notice of how she kept her hands in the boy’s view always; what was the reason for this?  He shuddered to imagine…

“Ronald, this is Grell Sutcliff and William T. Spears,” the woman introduced softly.  “They’re interested in adopting you.”

Ronald’s stunning green eyes widened as his lips formed a taut line.  The fingers on his right hand twitched for several seconds before they slid under the sleeve on his left arm and the motion of him scratching himself up could be made out beneath the fabric.  Grell wanted nothing more than to reach out and stop this action, but he knew better; there had to be _trust_ between them first, and there was none. 

“Hi, sweetheart.” Grell’s smile widened.  “How are you?  My partner and I would be happy if you came home with us.  Would you like that?”

“…” Ronald’s scratching only increased as he diverted his gaze to stare anywhere but at Grell.

The redhead frowned.  “Ronnie, I can’t help but notice what you’re doing to your arm.  May I ask what’s wrong?”

Ronald shook his head.  He continued staring past Grell as his body became wracked by fearful quivers.  His scratching became worse, and the blood that was now starting to dribble past the sleeves and onto his lap broke the man’s heart.

“You don’t need to be afraid of us, sweetie,” Grell promised.  “We aren’t going to hurt you.”

The boy’s head shook again, but not a single word escaped his lips. 

“Does he speak?” William adjusted his frames as he observed the boy stoically. 

“No…  Not very much at all…  As I said, he needs a lot of love and patience.”

“I can give him that.  I really can.”

William nodded in agreement; he knew better than anyone else just how much love Grell had. 

The residential worker sighed.  Hesitantly, she said, “If you’ll follow me, I have all of the paperwork ready to be filled out.”

Grell donned an excited grin as he wrapped his arms around William’s neck and placed a kiss on the man’s cheek.  “I love you, Will~”

Before William could scold him for what he had just done, Grell was gone.  He shook his head as he followed the other two, wondering what he had just gotten himself into.

* * *

 

“So what’s wrong with Ronnie?” Grell signed his signature neatly next to William’s.  He dropped the pen and looked up so he could meet eyes with the woman. 

She placed her fingertips together as a solemn expression crossed her face.  “We have a file written up on him we will present you with when you leave, but many of his… _carers_ were found to have abused him, in many ways…  He usually carries around a stuffed cat as a method of self-soothing.  We believe it was given to him shortly after one adoption.  However that adoptee died in a car collision and Ronald was returned to our care.  He has been very unfortunate, and he has suffered greatly in his ten years.”

Grell nodded in understanding.  “I’ve been placed in similar situations as he has; I know what he’s going through.”

The residential worker tapped her fingers against the desk.  “He suffers from severe anxiety, and he is terrified of touch.  I sincerely believe it will be in your best interests to avoid attempting to touch him until perhaps a little later in your relationship – if you decide to keep him, that is.”

“He won’t come back here; no matter how difficult he may be, I won’t give up on him.”

“We believe he also has insomnia, and he has been known for night terrors.  He’s going to greatly need patience more than anything else.”

Grell turned to William.  “Can you go and get Ronnie ready to leave, please?  I just want to make sure I know everything I have to before we go.”

William didn’t protest; he stood up in silence and left to tend to Ronald. 

The woman also stood up so she could retrieve Ronald’s case notes from the filing cabinet behind her.  When she had grabbed them, she slid them across the desk.  “That contains everything you need to know about Ronald.  It also has details of… incidents which you may or may not wish to read about.  Do you have any more questions?”

“Does he have medical appointments or anything I should be aware of?”

“No, but between you and I, it might be worth finding him a regular doctor; someone he can trust to talk to.”

“I will…  I know someone he might feel safe with,” Grell explained.  He picked up the files and folded them so they would sit neatly in one of the pockets on the inside of his red coat.  “Thank you for today; we’ll look after him.”

“Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions.”

Grell was polite as he thanked her again and excused himself from the office.  He checked the time on his wristwatch before he decided that William should have finished gathering Ronald and his belongings, and the first place he would check for them was their car.  He was glad to have found the two outside, William strapping the child into the backseat with the boy’s bag under his feet.  That stuffed cat he had been told about caught his eye, and he couldn’t help but smile as he noticed how tight Ronald was clutching it to his chest. 

“What’s your cat’s name?” Grell knelt against the backseat as he smiled down at Ronald.  The toy looked ragged, with frayed stitching and a missing eye highlighting its age.  It was black with a white stripe from its mouth down its chest and stomach, and he could only imagine how much Ronald had clung to it for comfort over the years.

Ronald looked down.  A frown was on his face, and Grell didn’t miss the way he shifted the teddy in his arms so he could scratch at himself again.  “…”

“We aren’t bad people.” The redhead’s voice was so soft, even he surprised himself with his tenderness.  Ronald’s head lifted upwards ever so slightly.  “I understand why you’re scared; I used to be just like you.  I didn’t like being around other people, either.”

The boy’s grip on his stuffed toy tightened.  “…”

Changing the subject, Grell brought the topic back to the cat.  “Does your cat have a name?”

Finally, Ronald’s head shook in response.  It took everything Grell had to stay calm and quiet; he knew that if he were to express how joyful he was feeling at this, he would only scare the younger.  Instead, he cleared his throat and said, “That’s okay; I’m sure you can name him whenever you want to – if you _want_ to, of course.”

Ronald didn’t respond in any form, and instead he curled up into a ball against the door.  It broke Grell’s heart to see him like this, but what could he do?  Nothing, lest he scare the poor thing.  The man sighed, and though he had reached out to touch the child, his wrist was grabbed by William. 

“Leave him be.” William’s cold gaze flickered between the younger two.  “He may find benefit in being left alone right now.”

Grell couldn’t help but nod in resignation.  William was right; he was _always_ right. 


	2. Chapter 2

It hadn't taken long to get back home, and when they did, Ronald followed the two men into the house in silence. On his face, he donned an expression he was _far_ too young to wear, but it was all too clear he was exhausted, not just in general but exhausted of _life_. How many times had he been in this same situation? How many people had he followed inside, expecting to finally find a home and someone who had loved him, only to be hurt in the worst of ways instead?

Grell couldn't keep thinking about that; he knew that if he didn't think of something else, he would probably be the one to shed the first set of tears. Instead, he closed the front door behind Ronald and knelt to take the bag the boy was holding. "I'll show you to your room, Ronnie. Okay?"

Ronald was as silent as ever as he followed his new guardian through the foyer and up the stairs. He noticed that William hadn't followed them, and that gave him minute hope that he would soon be left alone for good, but he wasn't going to voice his thoughts; he could cry to himself as soon as he was alone again.

The walk to what was supposed to be his bedroom didn't take long; just after they stepped onto the second floor, it was the first room on their left he was led inside. He ducked his head so he couldn't look around at his new surroundings; he didn't _want_ to see anything because how did he even know this was going to be his room? What if they were lying to him like the others, and Grell was just trying to get his hopes up before locking him away in the cupboard like the other men usually did?

Ronald sniffed. He dropped his bag to the ground and stepped back out into the corridor. Grell didn't try and stop him; he just closed the door and moved to stand by Ronald's side. "Why don't we go downstairs, Ronnie? We can watch something on TV."

Grell pretended not to notice the way the boy flinched, as if he were expecting something horrible to come from those words. He just waited for Ronald to follow him before he started walking again.

Downstairs, Ronald held his breath as he looked around the living room. It looked much nicer and more welcoming than any of the others he had seen. There was a large white couch pressed against the wall beside the entrance to the foyer, and a flat screen TV stood across from it on a stand. There was a giant bookshelf pushed against the far wall, and a wall window overlooked a lush garden and the houses across the street.

This family was rich, and that terrified Ronald. He had never been with a rich family before, but he could only imagine how they would treat him if the snobbish rich people he would see at the orphanage all the time were anything to go by.

"Take a seat, Ronald."

It was the man named William who had spoken, Ronald realised. He shuddered; Grell wasn't _too_ scary, but William was downright frightening...

He _wanted_ to sit down, truly – his feet were already hurting and he hated the aching – but too many times he had been treated as if he were nothing more than the filth on the bottoms of someone's shoes. He had become used to being beaten if he were to sully someone's good furniture with his mere presence, so he would stand, no matter how tired he was.

"Ronald. Sit down."

Said boy's lip quivered as his eyes welled up with tears. He buried his face in against the fake fur of his cat as he tried to hide his discomfort; he wanted to go back to the orphanage. He was no stranger to same-sex parents. He had experienced enough of them to know that they were the worst; with the things they always did to his body, he had never wanted to be placed with them again – but for some reason, life _really_ hated him, and here he was, probably about to go through it all again.

As if Grell could sense the stress going through Ronald's mind, he knelt before the boy and whispered, "Honey… Dearest Ronnie, I want you to know that if you ever need something, Will and I can take care of it, okay? That's why we adopted you – because we wanted a child to raise together and neither of us wants to see you suffering, okay?"

"…" Ronald looked anywhere but at the redhead.

Grell let out a sigh. He almost felt at a loss before something moved in the corner of his eye and a large grin crossed his face. "You like cats, don't you, Ronnie?"

Finally, with the most life the men had seen out of him, Ronald nodded. "…"

"Well, we have a cat named Snowball, and she just ran out of the living room. We can go and find her soon if you want. She used to have a mean owner who hurt her, and she used to be scared of us, too. But now she likes us so much, she sleeps on our bed at night. I'm sure you'll love her."

A small smile graced Ronald's lips at these words; he had always liked animals, and it would be great to finally meet a real cat.

Grell held his own smile now as he stood up and said, "Ronnie, Will and I are going to go buy you some new clothes, okay? Do you want anything to eat before we leave?"

Ronald shook his head. How could he trust the man so soon? He was aware of the other's sigh of defeat, but he couldn't bring himself to care; that redhead was only setting him up for defeat, after all.

* * *

 

Grell hated to know that he had missed out on having dinner with his family, but there wasn't much he could do when he and William were running a company together and everything needed to be seen to for that day's ending. It was almost frustrating, but at least he was on his way home and would be in his driveway any minute now.

Finally, when he did park his car in his driveway, he grinned to himself as he pulled his keys from the ignition; he couldn't wait to try and spend some time with Ronald.

However, the excitement Grell had felt quickly vanished, and it was replaced by worry when he walked into the living room and found William seated on the couch with a bloodied cloth wrapped around his hand. The redhead hurried forward so he could assess the damage.

"Will!" Grell was almost trembling as he carefully unwrapped the cloth; what if he could have lost William, and he hadn't been there to do anything to stop it? "What happened?!"

William was as calm as always. "Ronald cut me. It wasn't his fault. I startled him during dinner."

Grell could have cried; why hadn't he been home…? "Where's Ronnie now?"

"I have sent him to bed. He was cutting himself." William remained stoic as he looked at the gash on his palm. His eyes then locked with Grell's, and he said, "We are not equipped to have a child like this, Sutcliff. I think we should send him back."

"You never gave up on me, Will; why do you want to give up on Ronnie?"

"I was prepared for an abused child, but this is beyond our capabilities. The boy is –"

" -If everyone keeps giving up on him, he's only going to get worse! I won't take him back!"

William opened his mouth to argue back, but they were both silenced by an ear-splitting scream from upstairs. They dropped everything to hurry upstairs and see what had frightened Ronald, but upon bursting into the boy's room, they found nothing except for Ronald hiding under his blankets.

"Ronnie, what happened?" Grell knelt by the bed, but he didn't touch the shaking lump; he knew better. He tried to console Ronald with his voice, but he felt as if he were only making things worse.

"I thought you fixed that wardrobe door, Sutcliff."

Grell turned back to William at the man's cold voice. He then noticed the door hanging off the wardrobe and realised what had happened; the rickety old door he thought he had repaired had come loose off its hinges again.

The redhead sighed. "Ronnie, it's okay; it's just the door fell off the wardrobe again. It's okay. You're safe."

William, who had moved to inspect the repairs made on the door, sighed loudly. "Sutcliff, I advise that the next time you try and fix a loose-hanging door, you do so properly instead of using blue tack."

Grell almost cowered under his lover's stern gaze, and he fell silent until the man had left the room. He then turned back to the boy who still had not come out from under the blankets. He fiddled with his hands as he whispered, "Ronnie... I-I'm so sorry... I should have fixed that wardrobe properly when William told me to do it... It's my fault you're scared... I feel terrible..."

These words did nothing to soothe Ronald, and the boy continued to cry to himself as he stayed hidden beneath his blankets. He remained there, taking no notice of his surroundings until a loud _thud thud thud_ finally caught his attention. He stiffened, and though he wanted to remain hidden from the others, he couldn't help but lower his blankets so he could peek out from under them and see what was happening. He frowned, and in the tiniest voice he had, he whispered, "What are you doing…?"

Grell, who had gone and fetched a hammer and some nails, turned back to Ronald. He gestured to the wardrobe door. "I'm fixing this for you, hon. I'm so sorry it scared you; I won't let it happen again, alright?"

Ronald nodded, and with that, he disappeared beneath his blankets again. He listened to every sound that caught his ear, and finally, to his relief, Grell spoke again.

"Sweetheart, I'm going to bed now. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

Ronald sighed when he heard the door close. He steadied his breathing as his mind ran rampart. No one else had ever treated him like this before. He was used to the abuse almost as soon as he had walked through the front door for the first time, but no one had ever been this nice to him for so long…

Had he been wrong in his judgement against these people? …No. He couldn't have been; all humans were the same. These ones wouldn't be any different; they were just… trying harder than the others to destroy him.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ronald awoke the next morning, it was to his new guardians' voices. He could hear them talking from the bedroom next to his, but their words were muffled by the walls.

He sat up in the mess of blankets he had eventually fallen asleep in and hugged his stuffed cat tight. He was surprised he had slept through the night; he had become so used to his 'carers' coming into his room at night, not only was he usually kept away by his fear of beds, but he had started waking up himself throughout the night in anxious anticipation of the things he _knew_ would always be done to him.

The boy let out a soft whimper before he laid back down and hid his face in his pillow; he hoped that if he were to pretend he was still asleep, his new 'guardians' would leave him alone.

Minutes passed by, and Ronald was starting to think that he might finally be lucky enough to be left alone. But just as he felt his body finally starting to relax, he tensed again as a soft knock sounded on his door. He stayed silent, hoping that whoever was out there would go away.

"Ronnie?" It was Grell's voice, and Ronald found himself glad that at least it was the redhead and not William; Grell wasn't as frightening, and he truly hoped it would stay that way. "Ronnie, are you awake?"

"Leave the boy alone." And then, whatever reprieve Ronald had felt was gone as William's voice sounded next. "He's probably exhausted."

Ronald flinched when he heard the doorknob turn.

"It'll be fine, Will! He can take a nap if he's still tired."

With that, the door opened. Ronald pulled the blankets over his head as soon as he caught sight of the men.

William sighed. "Sutcliff, leave him alone. He'll come out when he's ready."

Grell was stubborn, and he wasn't going to listen for this. He walked into the room and stood by the bed so he could reach out and tug at the blankets. "Ronnie, come out and have breakfast with us~"

Ronald tried to keep the blankets over himself, but just as they were taken from his grip and he was revealed to the world once more, the blankets were dropped to the floor and Ronald watched as William dragged the redhead from the room, muttering something under his breath.

The boy frowned. He sat up slowly, peeking around the room in search of any potential danger he may have missed previously. He couldn't understand; why didn't Grell make him scared like everyone else had? He should have been in hysterics, cowering and pleading for the man to leave him alone and not hurt him anymore, but for whatever reason, this wasn't happening and he didn't know how to deal with it.

Was Grell _really_ telling the truth when he said they weren't to fear…? _Should_ Ronald go downstairs like they wanted him to…? He didn't want to go, but he had long since learnt that disobeying meant punishment, and he didn't think his fragile body could handle any more pain.

Reluctantly, Ronald climbed out of the bed and stood on legs that felt like they were jelly. His timidness was all too clear as he slowly approached the door and peeked out as he contemplated whether to leave the room or not.

He left the room, hoping with everything he had that he had made the right choice. If he were lucky, begging would at least earn him a crumb or two…

"I swear, Sutcliff…"

Ronald froze; he was getting close…

"What are you going to do without me?"

"Cry." Grell's voice came next, slightly jumbled from something he had in his mouth as he spoke. "Sleep. Eat. Cry some more."

The boy poked his head around the corner. Grell was facing him, with one cheek in his palm as his elbow rested on the table. William's back was to him as he seemed to be preparing something up at the counter, but Ronald wasn't going to complain; if that would keep him from receiving another beating…

"Oh! Ronnie!" Grell must have swallowed whatever he was eating because his voice was clear once again. He grinned as he patted the empty seat next to him. "Come and sit!"

Ronald flinched, and he was sure he wasn't far off hyperventilating. He stepped back when Grell stood up; was his reaction the reason why the man quickly sat back down…?

In a _much_ calmer manner, Grell said, "Ronnie, come and sit down and I'll make you a hot chocolate, okay?"

Ronald frowned. He was hesitant, but he finally did as instructed. He kept his head down, and he trembled in his seat, but no one said anything more as Sutcliff stood up and went to join William at the counter. He continued to stare at his lap in a feeble attempt at making himself look smaller, but it failed as, soon enough, a mug was placed in front of him.

Ronald looked up, but his eyes never met Grell's. "…"

"Drink up." Grell sat back down in his seat as he pulled his plate closer to him. "It's hot chocolate. Have you ever had it before?"

The boy's lip quivered as tears welled up in his eyes. He looked at his right arm, concealed by the oversized sleeve of the nightshirt he had worn to bed. He took a deep breath as he rolled it back to show the men the burn that covered almost his entire arm.

Grell frowned while William looked away. It was the redhead who spoke. "Someone burnt you…"

Ronald's voice was as soft and shaky as it had been last night. "They were mad… B-because I… got a drink… without asking…"

William's facial expression was as stoic as always, but by his sides, his hands clenched. He walked over to the doorway and stopped in the threshold so he could say, "I'll be back tonight, Sutcliff."

Grell understood the hidden message; William was not in the right headspace to stay any longer. "Okay, Will. I love you."

Grell waited until he heard the front door close before he let out a sigh. "I hate when he leaves… I hate being _alone_ …"

Ronald tilted his head; did Sutcliff understand, even just a _little_ …? "…"

"I know that he's only going to work and will be home as soon as he finishes…" Grell's hands started fumbling with each other now, "…But I still can't help but fear he will find someone better than me and leave…"

Ronald frowned. He knew he felt sad, but he couldn't quite comprehend why; no one had done anything to him yet, and he hadn't thought of anything that _did_ make him sad, so why…?

Was it because he knew what it was like to live in fear and loneliness? He certainly understood Grell when the man said those things. He reached out a shaking hand and put it on the other's knee.

Grell gave a sad smile, and he did nothing about the tiny hand on his knee. "I shouldn't tell you my problems. You have enough of your own and mine are pathetic compared to yours."

For the first time in his life, Ronald smiled. It was a weak, barely noticeable one, but a smile nonetheless. He pulled his hand back to himself and fumbled with them. He listened in silence as Grell rambled on, and even though he was still never completely comfortable, he could begin to see that Grell _was_ trying hard for him – something _no one_ had ever done for him before. Grell was… _different_ from the others, and whether it was for bad or worse, right now, he could feel his stress slowly ebbing away until he was finally in what he had only ever imagined must be peace.

* * *

 

When William returned home that night, he was rather surprised to see Grell seated on the end of the couch with Ronald's head in his lap. Grell beamed a giant smile at his lover and gestured to Ronald.

"Will, h-he let me play with his hair!" William wasn't sure if his lover had ever grinned as much as he was now. "He went straight to sleep!"

William nodded. He took his coat off and hung it on the rack by the door before he approached the younger two. He looked down to see the peaceful expression on Ronald's face as the boy slept soundly.

"He's so cute, isn't he, Will?"

William lifted his gaze to meet Grell's. He didn't reply directly; he just asked, "Why is he so close to you?"

Grell shrugged. "All that matters is he's doing better today."

William nodded. "Yes. Have you two had dinner?"

"We ate not long ago. I put your plate in the microwave."

"Thank you. You should put him into his room so he can sleep properly."

"He's fine, Will." Grell ran his hand through Ronald's hair. "Now that he's here, I don't want to move him. Can you get a blanket? I don't want to wake him; he looks so calm right now."

William said nothing as he fulfilled Grell's request. It didn't take him long to return to the living room with a blanket in hand, and after draping it over Ronald, he went and fetched his dinner to eat alone at the dining table.

In the living room, Grell fussed with the blanket as he tucked Ronald in as best he could without disturbing the younger's sleep. He couldn't help but run his hand through the blond-black hair again; Ronald was just so beautiful.

Seeing the boy look so relaxed for once made Grell think. He had been fourteen-and-eleven months old when he had been adopted by the first carers who genuinely loved him. Before them, he had been with fosters who had abused him in every way imaginable. But now, as he sat here looking at the kid in his lap, he couldn't help but feel relieved about having saved Ronald from the same abuse; the boy was still salvageable; just no one had ever cared to try.

"Whatever it takes, Ronnie…" Grell whispered as he rubbed his thumb across Ronald's pale cheek. "Whatever it takes, I'll help you recover from what those monsters have put you through… I promise that I'll never give up on you, no matter what."

With that said, Grell leant down and placed a kiss on Ronald's temple.

It didn't take long at all for William to finish his dinner and return to the living room. He stood in the doorway and watched the two on the couch with a raised eyebrow.

Grell, who knew what the unspoken words were, pointed to the chair on the other side of the room. "You can sit there, darling; I'm not moving in case I wake Ronnie up."

William rolled his eyes, but he didn't argue. He picked up the television remote that lay abandoned on the coffee table on his way past, and once he was seated comfortably in the chair, he went through the channels until he found the late-night news.

Above the background noise he liked to hear so much, William said, "I need you to come into the office tomorrow, Sutcliff."

Grell gave his lover a concerned look. "Will… We talked about this… You said I could take a week off to be with Ronnie…"

"Yes, but we are severely understaffed right now and –"

"We can't leave Ronnie home alone!" Grell was a relaxed, loving person by nature, but even he could be short of patience at times, and now was one of them. He narrowed his eyes as he hissed, "He'll be _scared_ if he is left alone!"

"You have not allowed me to finish what I was going to say, Sutcliff. Ronald may come to the offices tomorrow but he will be staying in my office with me."

As much as Grell wanted for the boy to stay with him, he knew not to argue; William was only doing it because the other knew Grell wouldn't get his work done otherwise. "But he can stay with me another day, right, Will?"

"If you can prove to me you are capable of doing your work with Ronald around, yes. You never do it at the best of times. I try my best to act nothing more than professional to you at work and treat you the same as the others, but this has to stop, Sutcluff. I need you to work."

Grell's eyes welled with tears, but the redhead refused to let them fall. "Why are you telling me this…? W-what did I do wrong…?"

William knew that underneath Grell's happy demeanour was a very sensitive and unstable soul. He did what he could to avoid upsetting his partner, but as the younger's supervisor, he had to make sure that he was performing well at work – regardless of their relationship. "You did nothing wrong, Sutcliff – you just need to do your work."

"I-I do my work," the younger muttered.

"Yes, but I usually receive it late and incomplete." William sighed, and his tone softened. "I want you to work harder, okay? Can you do that for me? For _me?_ "

"…" Grell wiped at his eyes. He nodded. "I love you, Will…"

"I know you do. Let's go to bed. I am sure Ronald will be fine out here."

Grell didn't have the energy to protest. He carefully moved Ronald so he didn't wake the younger, and once he was standing, he reached out to take William's hand. He was glad the older male didn't shy away for once, and with that, the two went upstairs together, ready for sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When Ronald awoke the next morning, he was rather confused to find himself still on the couch, and with a blanket over him; he wasn’t used to such privileges, but he wasn’t going to complain; he was just too warm and comfortable to be bothered. 

With a sigh, the boy closed his eyes again and snuggled in closer to the back of the couch.  He had almost fallen asleep again, but a soft chiming sound caught his attention.  He sat up.

It was a white, fluffy cat with a black collar and a bell.  It had turned to look back at where it had come from as Grell came into sight now through the doorway.  The man held a bright smile on his face as he leant down and grabbed the cat.  It purred loudly as it rubbed its face against Grell’s makeup-clad face.

“Ronnie, this is Snowball.”

Ronald lifted his head to meet Grell’s gaze now.   He cocked his head to the side. He remained silent as the man approached him, but once he realised he was being offered to hold the cat, he slowly reached out a shaking hand to ghost the tips of his fingers through its fur. 

It was so soft, and Ronald wasn’t sure he had ever felt anything as comforting as the feeling of fur beneath his fingers.  A smile ever so slowly graced his face. 

“Ronnie, can you go and get dressed into something nice?”  As much as Grell wanted to stay and watch his new adoptive child continue to gather the courage to play with their cat, he knew he couldn’t; they all had to get ready for the day ahead of them.  “You’re going to come to work with us today.”

The boy’s smile that had taken so long to form now disappeared, replaced by his usual frown.  He held the cat tight as the anxiety that had gradually decreased came back with a vengeance.

Grell could sense the discomfort, and he tried to help by letting Ronald know what he could expect.  “We work at a very large company.  Will is the supervisor of our division, but I do boring deskwork.”

Ronald’s mouth moved with silent words before he dropped his face into Snowball’s fur. 

Grell slowly extended his hand so he could run his fingers through the younger’s hair.  “Ronnie, you can talk to me if you’re scared.  I know you’re afraid of people, but I will never hurt you.  Alright?”

When no response came, Grell sighed.  He stood up.  “Go and get dressed and I’ll be in the kitchen making breakfast.”

Ronald did as instructed, but Grell wasn’t sure it was for any reason other than the child was simply afraid of being punished if he were to disobey.  The man watched Ronald drop Snowball to the couch so he could grab the leg of his stuffed cat instead and take it upstairs with him.  He closed his eyes as he moved towards the kitchen; Ronald was going to take a lot of work…

* * *

 

When Ronald first laid eyes on the towering building Grell had told him they worked in, he was in awe; he had never seen something so tall before, and it _must_ have held _at least_ a billion floors. 

The boy made a small noise in the back of his throat which had Grell smiling, and he made sure to stick as close to the redhaired man as he possibly could. 

When Grell realised how afraid of the other employees wandering throughout the building Ronald was, he reached down and said, “Give me your hand, hon.”

Ronald looked up with wide eyes.  He knew it was better for him to hold the man’s hand so he didn’t get lost within the sea of strangers, but still… 

Though, as he reminded himself, he felt _much_ safer with Grell than he ever had with anyone else…

The child lifted his forever-trembling hand and slipped it into Grell’s firm hold.  He stared down at his feet as he started walking again, shuddering with each shaky breath he took. 

The elevator trip was the worst part, crammed into such a confined space with so many other people, but with Grell there for him, Ronald got through it and could finally breathe again when they stepped out onto another floor, this time without such a large human population.  In fact, there were only two other people up here, despite how big the room was and the many, _many_ unoccupied desks scattered about. 

They were both males, from what Ronald could understand, one with brunet hair and the other blond with cornrows on one side of his head.  The brunet was gazing curiously at Ronald, but the blond was loud and boisterous as he talked to William confidence.

Grell gently tugged his child forward and pointed to the brunet.  “This is Alan, Ronnie.  The one with blond hair is Eric.  They work with Will and I.  It’s just going to be the four of us here today.”

Alan spoke so softly, Ronald couldn’t hear what the man had said, but he didn’t feel alarmed; the brunet had such a gentle expression on his face, the boy didn’t feel so on edge. 

Grell replied back to his friend, but as Ronald tried to listen to their conversation, William grabbed his shoulder.  He whimpered and tried to pull away, and he was glad the stoic man let go.  He wiped at his damp eyes.

William looked as unfeeling as ever.  Though his tone wasn’t as icy as it seemed to be towards everyone else, he still seemed to be unaffected by the child’s reaction.  “Ronald, you will stay with me for today.  Sutcliff will not work if you stay with him, and he is already behind in his reports.”

Ronald whimpered again, but he nodded anyway.  He looked down as Grell said something to him, but he showed no acknowledgement towards the redhead; he needed to get his emotions back under control or else he was going to fall into a panic attack.  He didn’t protest as William grabbed his wrist firmly, but without enough pressure to hurt the boy in the slightest, and he followed as he was led away from the other three males.

William was silent until they had entered an office towards the back of the floor.  He unlocked the door and then opened it for Ronald, and once they were standing inside, he pointed to the couch off to the side of the room beneath a large wall window that seemed to overlook the city. 

The boy didn’t hesitate to sit down; it was quiet in this office, and he was starting to realise William was going to leave him alone for the most-part; it was as if the man were scared of _him,_ really, and was trying to avoid upsetting the child as much as possible. 

Ronald wasn’t sure, and he couldn’t think about it for too long, because as soon as he dropped his head against the armrest of the couch, he was fast asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Ronald hadn't slept for very long, which was strange; he was accustomed to sleeping for large chunks of the day, but for whatever reason, he just wasn't as tired as he usually was.

After William had noticed Ronald was awake, he had set the boy up on the edge of his desk with paper and a pen so he could draw. Even though the man hadn't said a single word to him, Ronald didn't mind; he was comforted by this situation.

The youngest scribbled against the paper with the red pen he had taken from William's side as he tried to colour in the sun on the corner of his paper. Never before had he been allowed to draw, but he was quickly finding that this was something he was enjoying very much.

He didn't know how much time had passed by, but when a loud sigh came from William, he was startled; he had been so used to the silence, he had almost forgotten the man could even speak.

"Come, Ronald." William stood up from his desk. "We are going for a walk."

Ronald's frown grew larger, but he did as he was told. He followed William out of the office and towards the cluster of chairs placed in a haphazard circle where he saw Grell and his friends sitting, with the exception of Eric sitting on one of the desks with his feet on the base of a chair. He followed, and when William stopped behind Grell's back without a sound, he fidgeted nervously; what was going to happen…?

The brunet Ronald had been introduced to as Alan gave a quiet chuckle, while Eric started laughing loudly, leaving Grell oblivious to the presence behind him.

"Oi, turn 'round, will ya?" Eric smirked. "You're in trouble again."

Grell, who remained facing his friends, let out a huffed. "I _never_ get into trouble off Will."

"Well, the look on his face right now says he's gonn' skin ya alive!"

While the redhead protested this, William reached out and slowly spun the chair around until they were facing each other. Ronald noticed the tiny bottle in Grell's hand, and he wondered; was this why William had come out here?

"Will you explain to me why you are painting your nails instead of working, Sutcliff?" The iciness in William's tone had returned ten-fold.

Grell waved a dismissive hand. "A girl has to look her best, so why not?"

"I have told you repeatedly about slacking off on the job, Sutcliff." William reached out and took the nail polish from his lover's hand. "I _will_ give you unpaid overtime. I want your work completed and on my desk before we leave or else you will be staying here while I go home and sleep."

"Will, you're so cruel…" Grell pouted.

"Mr. Humphries, please keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't continue slacking off." William sighed as he adjusted his frames. "And _you,_ Singby, get off Mr. Humphries' desk and get on with your _own_ paperwork; he is far more capable than you two and does not require any assistance."

William ignored the ensuing fray that was quickly coming on between the younger three adults, and he instead started walking back to his office with Ronald behind him.

Finally, gathering the courage to speak up for the first time to William, Ronald asked, "W-where they in t-trouble…?"

William glanced at the child. He shook his head. "No, they are not. They just need to be encouraged to work sometimes. They are all too friendly with each other."

Ronald nodded. He was glad when they had stepped back into the office, and all of a sudden, that usual debilitating exhaustion he felt returned. Was it because he had been growing increasingly anxious over the worry that someone was going to get hurt just before…? He wasn't sure, but he went back to the couch and curled up on it again so he could close his eyes and try to fight off his sleepiness.

Ronald was glad the only thing he could hear was the scratching of William's pen on paper for the next minute or two, but just as he was starting to drift off to sleep, he was startled awake again by the office door slamming against the wall. He sat up and blinked to try and clear his always-blurry vision to see who it was, and he was upset to find yet another stranger, this one radiating everything he had always hated on everyone he used to know; _danger_.

He bit his lip as he watched the black-haired newcomer slam the door shut again and lock it, and to whatever relief he may have briefly felt, he was glad to see William standing up to address the issue rather than sitting back and turning a blind eye to anything that may possibly be done to the child.

"Spears, Spears, Spears…" The stranger spoke in a low voice, and there was a feral look in his eyes Ronald knew all-too-well. "I would've thought you'd have quit by now… All the warnings I've been sending to you and that… _thing_ haven't been enough, have they?"

"I do not take kindly to threats." William stayed where he was, and there was an edge to his tone Ronald hadn't heard until now. "You are breaking a restraining order. Leave my office before security arrives."

"Why would I leave?" The black-haired male gave a bitter laugh. "I could've had this office – your _position_ , even. I refuse to lose my job to a _faggot_."

"I apologise you feel this way but I am more qualified for this job than you could ever hope to be. Leave."

Ronald jumped at the shout that came next.

"Shut your fucking face!"

William slammed his hands down on his desk as his voice raised also. "There is a _child_ present! Watch your mouth!"

Tears ran down Ronald's cheeks now. He put his hands over his ears in an effort to block out the sounds, but it was no use; he was terrified.

William, who had taken notice of this, turned his back to the newcomer so he could address Ronald. He moved to approach his new adoptive child, but he quickly stopped at a sound coming from behind him. He turned around again, coming face-to-face with the barrel of a handgun.

"Don't move…" the man snarled, "…or I'll shoot that brat."

"Leave him out of this," William demanded. "He is not involved. It is between you and I."

A large sneer crossed the other's face. His finger moved to rest against the trigger of the gun as he side-stepped around William and moved to stand by the couch. He reached down and gripped blond-black hair and ripped the child from his seat.

Ronald screamed and thrashed in an attempt to escape, so distraught he couldn't even hear the banging and yelling on the other side of the office door as someone attempted to enter.

The man cocked his head to the door, not loosening his grip on Ronald at all. "Don't you want to let them in?"

"Leave them out of this."

The stranger laughed as he tossed Ronald towards William. The man caught him and held him tightly, shocked to feel said child clinging to him so desperately; he had honestly thought the boy would want anything _but_ being near him.

"It's okay, Ronald," William muttered. "I will not let anyone hurt you."

"Oh, how sweet… Telling him that when you will just toss him away like trash in the end. You know what? I'll just end both of your miserable existences here and now. Once I've done that, I'll go and kill that fucked up _thing_ you seem to like so much. Faggots shouldn't be alive; they're disgusting and unnatural."

Ronald's eyes widened when the gun came closer to them. He let out a horrified scream, but before he knew it, he had been thrown onto the ground with William on top of him. There was a deafening bang that made his ears ring as all sound disappeared, and then something wet dripped onto his face.

He looked up, horrified to see William's glazed-over eyes fixed on his as blood dribbled from the corner of the man's mouth. Ronald screamed louder than he ever had before. He was oblivious to the office door being knocked down, but when another bang vaguely sounded in his still-ringing ears, he blacked out, the stress just too much for him.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Ronald's tiny feet crept through the blackened hallway of his new home as he made his way to Grell's room. He had been trying so hard to sleep, but it was hard when all he could do was replay over and over in his mind what had happened in that office, and the terror he had felt at watching William be taken away in an ambulance. He had been glad that Grell had taken him home, but no matter how much time had passed, he still hadn't been able to stop thinking about what had happened.

Never before had Ronald tried to seek out someone else's comfort, but he couldn't help it tonight; he was scared, and he just didn't want to be alone.

"N-no..."

Ronald stopped just outside the door to Grell's room; Grell was crying.

"Y-you don't understand... I-I… I can't lose Will… You don't under _stand!_ "

The boy cocked his head to the side; Grell must have been on the phone with someone because he couldn't hear anyone else talking. He stayed outside the door, not sure if he should go in or not; would he be in trouble if he were to go inside…?

"Eric… Eric, that's _besides_ the point…" Ronald could hear the man sniffing back more tears. "And now, Ronnie might _never_ be able to trust us… What if I lose them…? I don't want to be alone, Eric… I-I'm so scared of being alone…"

It was then Ronald decided he knew what needed to be done; he pushed the door open and made a beeline to the bed so he could climb up onto the mattress and hide his face against Grell's chest.

Grell was frozen in shock; how could Ronald… still _trust_ them after what happened…? He blinked back tears and slowly threaded his fingers through blond-black hair as he whispered into the phone, "I'll call you back, Eric; Ronnie's here…"

It wasn't much, but for what it was, the two of them fell asleep easily that night, despite the heaviness weighing on their minds.

"Are you okay, Ronnie?"

It was the first thing Ronald heard when his eyes opened the next morning. He looked up, just making out the blurry image of Grell reaching to the side to take his glasses from the bedside drawer. He moved closer so he could lay his head against the man's thigh. "…W-william…"

Grell wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders. "What's wrong, hon?"

Ronald licked his lips as he recalled the way the man had put himself between Ronald and danger. Even now, he still couldn't wrap his head around it; did that mean… William really _wasn't_ a bad person, after all…? "…He… _protected_ me…"

The redhead gave a sad smile. "Yes, that is the kind of person my William is, after all. We both care about you, Ronnie; that's why we adopted you. We'd both do that for you."

Ronald sighed softly. He closed his eyes as thoughts ran through his mind. "Can I… stay with you, Grell…?"

"Honey, of course you can," Grell promised. "I would never leave you by yourself. We're going to go to the hospital and see Will today so make sure you bring something to play with so you don't get bored. We'll get lunch after that. Okay?"

The child nodded. He mumbled what had been bothering him for a few months now. "…I can't see very well… My eyes always hurt, and it's hard to see anything properly…"

"You might need glasses like we do. I'll take you to get your eyes tested, sweetheart. Now run and get dressed."

"Okay…"

Grell watched as the boy left the room before he, too, got out of bed and moved to get his clothes. From what the nurses had told him, William was going to be okay, but he still couldn't abandon the paranoia that something was going to happen, and he was going to lose William. He fought against the tears that threatened to fall; what would he do without William by his side?

* * *

 

Ronald hated to see William at the hospital. It wasn't that he hated the _man,_ rather he couldn't stand to see the bandage and all of the drips connected to him; the boy felt as if it were his fault this had happened, and he didn't want to see anymore.

William, however, seemed pleased to see them both as he closed the book he had been reading before their entrance. "Hello, Ronald."

Ronald didn't know what had taken over him as he found himself pulling his hand from Grell's and running to William's side so he could wrap his tiny arms around the other. The man winced as his wound was disturbed, but he didn't push Ronald away; in fact, he was just glad to see the child behaving just like any other.

Grell came to stand behind Ronald, and he threaded his fingers through his adoptive child's messy hair as he heard tell-tale sobs coming from where the youngest had hidden his face against William's chest.

"I think you've just made a new friend, Will." Grell fixed his frames as William sent him the warmest look he had ever seen the older male wear.

William didn't respond; he moved his arm to carefully wrap around Ronald's shoulders and hold him close. He had never been one for affection, but he needed to show the boy he _did_ care. "Ronald, as long as you are happy, I will be fine. I give you my sincerest apologies for what happened; I only want you to be happy."

Ronald lifted his head to meet William's gaze. His tear-stained face donned a bright smile as tears continuously flowed down his cheeks. His voice was soft, tender, as he said, "I-I… I _am_ happy… G-grell said he's… he's gonna… take me to get my eyes checked… And we can have lunch today… And now… you're gonna be okay, too… So I'm happy…"

There weren't many times William had smiled, but now was one of them; his lips twitched upwards as he raised his free hand and ruffled Ronald's hair; maybe… Ronald had just needed someone who wasn't going to fail him.


	7. Chapter 7

Years had passed by until Ronald's fifteenth birthday rolled around. It was still strange, looking forward to his birthdays now when he used to hate them so much. But it was hard to keep hating them when Grell and William always went out of their way to give him the best birthdays they could.

He was sitting at the dining table, waiting for William to finish cooking their breakfast, while Grell was in town with Alan and Eric as they picked out their presents. Ronald didn't mind though; with the years that had passed, William had started talking more and more to Ronald, and there were no longer those long silences between them as neither knew how to approach the other.

"Are you excited, Ronald?" William finally placed a plate of pancakes before the youngest.

Ronald's smile was bright as he picked up his cutlery. Beneath his new frames, his eyes sparkled. "Yes, William. Can I get a cake again?"

William allowed one of his rare smiles to grace his face as he nodded. "Of course. That is what happens on birthdays, after all."

Ronald grinned as he looked down at his pancakes. He licked his lips at the sight of them, and it only took him a second longer to cut off the first piece and lift it to his lips.

Things had changed a lot over the years. Ronald was much more open and affectionate, and he trusted he two greatly now. In return, Grell stopped babying him so much and treating him like the teenager he now was, while William dropped his stoic personality for Ronald and Ronald only. Ronald had even become closer with Alan and Eric every day, and they helped him muster up his courage to make new friends.

Ronald was content with how things were now, and he wouldn't change anything for the world.

William sat across the table from Ronald, reading the newspaper and sipping at his coffee. Things were quiet, but it was comfortable for them both.

Finally, William looked down when he felt a small tug at his sleeve. He looked at the blond-black haired child. "What is it, Ronald?"

The teen smiled shyly as he sat back down in his chair. "…When will I get my present?"

"When Sutcliff gets back. He is picking it up for you today."

Ronald nodded. He was excited to find out what he was going to get; he always got the best presents.

Alas, they didn't wait long for Grell to return home, accompanied by Eric and Alan who had their own presents in their arms. The redhead made a quick stop in the living room before he rushed into the dining room and wrapped his arms around his child, hugging him tightly.

Ronnie~!" Grell's grin was so big, it threatened to split his face in two. "I have the best present for you~! You'll _love_ it~!"

Alan and Eric stepped forward and offered their gifts with wishes of a happy birthday. Ronald eagerly tore open the paper, smiling happily as he found a book from Alan and a set of DVDs from Eric.

"Thank you." Ronald smiled up at them before he gave each of them a one-armed hug. He was glad to feel them both return it, and it was then he put his gifts down so he could accept Grell's next.

"My present~!" Grell picked Ronald up and carried him into the living room before he placed him in front of a cardboard box. He grinned and gestured for the younger to open it.

Ronald tilted his head, but he did as told. He opened the top of it and reached in, and when he felt something soft beneath his fingertips, he gasped; he knew that touch beneath his fingertips… He reached in with both hands and plucked it out, and when he had a tiny black-and-white kitten sitting in the palm of his hand, his eyes watered with happiness; finally, his very own cat, and one that looked just like the stuffed cat he had lost some time ago.

He held the kitten against his chest tightly as tears streamed down his cheeks. Just like he had with Alan and Eric, he gave Grell a one-armed hug, but this time he wasn't going to let go; not when he was so happy.

William had stepped into the living room at this minute, and it was heart-warming to see someone who had once been so scared of everyone, so joyful at having his own pet. He smiled, and from across the room, he called out, "You will look after her, won't you, Ronald?"

Ronald nodded vigorously. "I-I'll take care of her, William! Can I name her, Chocolate?"

"Of course you can. She is yours."

"Thank you so much!"

The adults all smiled as they sat down with Ronald to spend time with him. Everyone could see the progress he had made, and _still_ was making, and even though there was room for improvement, Ronald could soon be happier than ever, his scars all but forgotten.


End file.
